This i Believe Peer review March 28th

1)     What did I gain from the response I received from my reader?

 My peer informed me to add more detail about the smaller things that could help the reader better understand the story.

2)     What did I change as a result of the feedback I received? Explain. 

a.      I added to one of my weaker paragraphs and included more personal experiences to make the piece more individual to my writing.

3) How did having someone else read my writing give me a different perspective on my writing?

Having someone read my paper made me realize my paper was far from perfect as I thought it was. And it helped me to include things that I didn’t think would be misunderstood to other readers.

3)     What surprised me in having someone else read this essay? 

 In reading other peoples essays and having them read mine, it surprised me at how similar random classmates beliefs can be to our own.

5) Add any thoughts you had during and after the peer response

            I was really interested in reading Danielle’s paper during the peer review. I had never talked with her before and she wrote on a situation that was very close to my heart, and her belief from what she took on the situation sort of shaped my pessimistic outlook on the subject. I also believe that from reading other people’s beliefs that I really broadened my mind to the things that I believe but I could not get out due to writer’s block.
           

This I Believe

Writing down a memory seemed challenging for me today. I feel as if I am given the capability to write anything that I want, but my mind doesn't know where to even begin. I get blocked with trying to recall memories that are in my mind some place distant, that are easily brought up any time except for when I begin to write. I don't know if it is writer's block because once I come up with an actual event to write about, I'm capable of free writing for a solid five minutes. My only problem is coming up with a topic to write about, I'm only 18 years old and compared to the event-filled lives of my professor and other students, I feel like none of my events are notable enough to share. I agree with Professor Dagher's statement today in class, about how we need to communicate more, and I would love to be at the point where I can willingly share my work. My only problem with sharing my work is like you said, I feel like I am being critiqued by my fellow classmates.

Starting an Interview

When I first heard about the interviewing project, my mind jumped between two people that I would like to interview. The first person I thought about having an interview with was a physical therapist at my local gym. Physical therapy has been a career path I have been looking into for about three years now, and something I feel as if I would enjoy. I would ask him if he had time to fit in a brief interview about his profession at a time and place convenient for him. I am also interested in why he chose his particular field of work, and if it is actually as enjoyable as he thought it would be. I would like to know more about his schooling and where he went to school, the types of classes he had to take and what lead him to deciding on physical therapy. I would have to have very open ended questions to allow him to talk more, because he is very reserved and does not talk a lot. The other person I am interested in interviewing would be my grandfather. My grandfather grew up in the 60's on a farm in Indiana. I've never been into detail about his life as a child, or growing up during that time period. Growing up on a farm has always been something I have dreamed of, and I'm curious to hear about it first hand. I know he would love to be interviewed and he is a big talker. I plan on recording the interview, and bringing a notebook to write down any information that catches my interest or answers my questions, and also to write down the times in the interview that a specific answer was given, so that i can go back over my recording and know exactly where to find the information.

Midterm Reflection

Reflecting back on the first half of this course I have realized I have learned some very valuable skills to take my writing to the next level. I have also been able to start realizing who I am, and discovering myself through my free writing. While free writing I have been able to use metacognitive thinking to open up my mind and think less on the way I write and more on what I am writing. It allowed me to write without thinking about my mistakes and focus on what was truly on my mind, and allowed me to get over my dreaded writer's block. Although I enjoyed free writes, clustering is my favorite technique that we have learned so far. I have been able to take one small memory or event, and add every single detail to help describe that event, and it vastly created a huge story out of something I never thought I could never successfully write about. Writing and reading memoir has helped me discover myself. I am currently reading a memoir about a man's journey to be as healthy as possible for an entire year, and being fit has always been a passion for me. I can so easily relate to his stories and his struggles, and it has helped me to finally decide on a major. There has been a few negatives to this half of the semester, such as the blogging and Moodle assignments. The blogging assignments seem a bit confusing to me, due to the fact that I am not always certain on what the topic should be on. Secondly with Moodle, there is a lot of confusion when I am reviewing my assignments. It could very well be from a personal lack of understanding, but Moodle just seems to be so clustered and I loose track of what I am actually suppose to submit and do for this course. In class I feel fine and I have a clear understanding of everything that we have discussed and gone over, but once I get home and I check Moodle, confusion sets in. I don't know if there is a way to fix this or not, and when you gave a quick run through of the Moodle cite it did help to an extent but I am still having issues. I believe I need to focus and work more on small details in my writing and using more of the five senses. From this class and the ideas that we have learned, I feel as if my personal memoir that I am writing is one of my best pieces of work yet. I started out trying to avoid the topic because of the heartache of the event, but as I continued writing I feel like I can make a connection to my audience and I feel like I have put more into this piece of work than anything I have ever written because of the emotional bond I have with what I have written.

Expanding Our Writing

Today in class we worked on expanding a moment in time from our memoir essay. I took the sentence "we rushed to the hospital as fast as we could" and went into detail of the car ride and the emotion that was felt inside of the car, how the weather seemed to fit the occasion, and how each car passed by as a blur. I used the clustering idea to expand my thoughts and discover new details that I believed to be lost in time, but one thing lead to another, and it all began to flow much easier.
"My mother asked us what we wanted to do, clearly non of us were stable enough to attend school for the day. "I want to go to the hospital" I stated. My mother agreed with me, she wiped the tears from her eyes with the wadded up Kleenex that she was holding tightly in her hand. She turned the key in the ignition and the engine came to life, breaking the depressing silence. We took a left out of the church parking lot, and headed towards the interstate. Cars passed by like blurs of color, the gray clouds grew darker and heavy rain drops began to fall on the windshield. Our hearts were racing, and each moment felt like an eternity. Caution was thrown to the wind as my Mother rushed through yellow lights, weaving in and out of slower traffic racing to the hospital hoping for a miracle to see our Grandmother one last time. Finally after probably the longest twenty minute car ride of my life, we made it to Gaston Memorial Hospital. The tops of the huge grey buildings seemed disappear into the clouds that hung low in the sky, resembling some type of "stairway to Heaven". We searched for a place to park and quickly found a spot near the front. I flung the door open faster than the car was shut off."

Sharing Memoir

Sharing our memoirs with our peers in class seemed a bit frightening at first. The fact that random students in class would be reading an in depth excerpt of a crucial and emotional day in my life seemed hard to face. After reading the first essay from a student in my group I realized just how helpful sharing our memoirs could be. I was unaware of portions of my memoir that I did not elaborate completely on. Also a member of my group touched on a subject that would be helpful to draw the readers in closer and give them a better understanding of my writing. The other member of my group pointed out that I needed to go into more detail and convey the five senses into my memoir to make the reader feel like they were actually there.

My First Memoir

I wrote my memoir on what I feel was my biggest turning point, which was something that happened about six months ago. I wrote about my journey from the lowest point of my life, to the happiest time of my life, which is now. It started with my ex girlfriend of two years breaking up with me, and in that same week my parents got separated. My life was turned upside down in a matter of days. Writing about these experiences and having to replay these memories in my head and bring them back to life was a hard thing to do. I know the more I write about it, the better I will feel about sharing it. I picked this turning point because I feel like I could put a lot into it, and possibly help someone else out who has been through similar things in life. While writing in class I kept thinking to myself "what if someone takes my notebook and looks at what I wrote" and "I wonder if someone is looking over my shoulder and reading my paper". I don't mind sharing parts of my story, but some parts seem to cut a little deeper. As time goes on I know the essay will get easier to share. I don't like how my story begins, but the ending and the journey I went through to get where I am today was the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I am happy to talk about it. In fact the more I talk about it, the happier it makes me.

Maxine Hong Kingston, Three Step Response

Velcro words: shame. "everyone laughed and pointed at me" "it was when I found out I had to talk that school became a misery"



Feelings:
Sorrowful, loneliness, curiosity, embarrassment



Questions: What is a saucer? What time period was this? why did she not receive any special language help from a teacher or translator?



I chose to read this excerpt because I feel as if I can relate to the author. Though I have always been able to speak well, I still find it sometimes hard to speak in a class full of people. If I do not know anyone in a classroom it is hard for me to speak, but if I know just a select few students, I can talk as much as anybody. School can be miserable when you don't talk, but once you talk and make new friends, it really isn't so bad. I feel sorrowful for the writer with her experience, and it leaves me in awe that the young children would laugh at her, and make fun of her. I use to get picked on for being fat when I was younger, and it changed who I am today for the better. I decided to play sports and get into shape, and I use those memories to push myself at the gym.

Response to chapters one and two "On writing Well"

In chapter one, I agree more with Dr. Brock in his answers to the discussion questions. I feel like writers should love to write, and he seemed more optimistic about his writing, and I believe symbolism is a very good way to portray deeper thoughts and emotions and different views to the reader. I agree that writing is hard, but I believe that public education has altered the way that we should write. They want a story that they create. True writing should come from an experience or the authors thoughts. Clearing your thoughts and clearing your words on paper is easier said than done. All through school we have been encouraged to use bigger words, but all of these words tend to get jumbled up and the true message of what the writer is trying to say gets lost.